Wednesday, April 27, 2005

Lesson Learned: WoooowwwwWheeee!!! A little rum goes a long way! Everything is funnier and life is just a little bit better.

OK-I'm going to concentrate and do this well. nah. that takes too longl I'm just going to type this out.

So, today I had to give a "training" to everyone about how to give the BIG SCARY STAR TEST next week. that meant dioong a powerpoint during the staff m eeting. at the end. when everyong is tired and i actually caught someone falling asleep duriong my presentation! can you believe it!! anywayn, OI tole them what was what and apparently i said "don[t give me any sh*t, and i won't be in your face" in a n ice way, which is good, because that is very true. Poor kids; they had to doeal w/my stress. I actually yelled at a kid beczause he looked the wrong way. Yes, it'w true!! He was looking behink hiim to anohter kid who hatexz me (really. it's personal. he is disapoinyted that i'm still working and not fired for allegedly hiting him with anewspaper, which I did NOT do). So, I got all up ion his face and yelled at hiim for looking at and talking to this other kid (who sits in the totally opposite corner)and said,"if you weren't talking to Ernie, then you would have beeen bent over your desk with your head in your book doing the worksheet instead of looking behind you." He quivered in his seat )all 300lbs of him) and pretended to get to work. Hah! But still, I know I over-reacted b/c I was so stressed out abou tthis talk and the stupid test being given out next week. bhel. tomorrow I hvae a sub so that I can count all 900+ (uyes, i mean ninehundred) tests and put them in groups acccording to teacxher.

As you now know, I'm a bit tipsty. Everything is magnifired to the 10th power. I was watching a movie, "the shop round the corner" (so good, with Jimmy stewart...i love jimmy stewart) and started sobbing during a touching seane or a hoappy seane or a funny sc3ene. Tim isn't too comfy with me bing this drunk OK--I daid it--I
'm drunk right n ow, in case you din't notice it. But I'm not falling-down-puke-0up-0lunch drunk. Just "everythin-is-funny" drunk.

Well, gotta rrite a test. heee hee. wonder how many typoes thre will be!!

Thursday, April 14, 2005

Lesson Learned: Sometimes, you just can't help but say the truth.

Well, after sharing a consversation I had with a difficult student with the other teachers on the team, I decided that some of the comments I've made this year deserve to be posted. This is because the other teachers 1)Could not believe I really said that to the kid, and 2)Found these comments to be true and funny.

*Note-These comments are not posted in any particular order.

1. "If you were living in Mexico, you'd be selling chiclet at the border!"
2. "I know you're smart. It's too bad your other teachers don't think so."
3. "I'm the only teacher that likes you, but that's about to change!"
4. "You must really love the way I shout your name, because you're always making me call on you!"
5. "You're lucky your mother still likes you."
6. "Do you think your new teachers next year won't notice your language arts and math skills?"
7. "No, you don't have to do it. I'll just give you an F."
8. "Don't talk to me."
9. "When a teacher asks you to leave the room, it's because if they see you for one more second, they're going to do something they'll regret."
10. "You'll probably just die."

Looking over this list, I must be the most evil, heartless teacher out there! You must understand that there is a context for each of these statements. Hey! about 6 of them were said this week! They were usually said in the heat of the moment. Amazingly enough, I'm still most kids' favorite teacher. Go figure. Marcy says it's because the students inherently understand I'm speaking in hyperbole.

This reminded me of some comments we wish we could have on the report card:

1) "Your student is smarter than they look."
2) "If your student was an animal, they'd be a rock."

Sometimes I wish I was a teacher at a Catholic school back in the old days when a ruler was a discipline tool. OK-only a couple of students make me feel that way. The other 145 make it worthwhile.